Being a female new business owner, in an industry still riddled with stigma, at almost 40 years old, has been one of the most beautiful, uncomfortable, joyful, scary, courageous and impulsive things that I have ever done in my entire life. It’s a story that I need to tell. It’s a story that’s really just beginning.
And this - is my preface.
It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog. It’s been a while since I’ve had the time for my mind to be relaxed enough to guide me to writing. But as the end of the year has shifted who I am and my priorities, the timing seemed important. I believe I am called to write and I believe I have a purpose in carrying such an important message - and so, I should and will indeed, do so.
You see, today I sit here writing and I am a business owner. Our company has a place in this community. We have a trusted name and a quality product. We have a loyal tribe. We have intelligent business partners and we have a network that is willing and able to guide and lead when necessary. We have flexibility in our life. We have new places and new people and new joys. We are able to travel our path of purpose. I believe EVERY SINGLE PERSON can do the same thing. EVERYONE. And in 2019 I will live a life that gives my neighbor the confidence to live hers!!
But like every story and every experience, there is a “this is what happened before all of that”.
I call this my preface because it’s my very beginning. The beginning of - me. If you would have asked me who I was a few years ago, I’m not sure what I would have said. But I am positive it would have been something I thought you wanted to hear, I would have said it with tons of confidence, and I was doing my best to act in that exact way.
I grew up middle, upper class family, parents are still married, I went to private schools, I went straight to college from high school because that is “what you did”, and I graduated with a degree in general studies (with 4 minors and then a certification as a paralegal), because whether you knew what you wanted to do or not .. you got a degree. I went into the workforce looking for the stable, safe, long term 8 to 5, because it wasn’t about what you were called to do, but about what you needed to do to be secure.
I hate that word today .. the word secure … it’s a silly, silly word with terrible expectations placed on it.
So I graduate from college and spiral down a very ugly path of opiate addiction for almost 10 years. That tragedy turned miracle is a story for another day, but it’s important to know that I started on the path of opiate addiction with a prescription from a doctor following a car accident. I mixed that addiction with one reliant on narcotic amphetamines as well, and also prescribed by a doctor. I relied heavily on western medicine, I had no sense of true health and wellness. I didn’t even know that meditation existed nor that food could heal an illness.
Because I spent most of my adult life under the haze of opiate addiction, for a while after I got sober, I associated happiness with sobriety. I associated doing the right thing with being sober. I associated being of service to others struggling with addiction as my purpose. It was all I knew and it was really all I understood for a while, if I’m being vulnerably authentic here. But looking back, that was never going to be ‘enough’ forever, it wasn’t what the universe intended for me … it was not supposed to be the single, driving force of my life. My husband likes to say that I was on a righteous path, but not the right path.
So in February of 2017, when I married my dreamer, it was as if I had finally given the universe ‘permission’ to shift, because when you combine your world with a determined dreamer …. I assure you, there is a shift!
The 8 to 5 was just getting us by, the American Dream reality was living paycheck to paycheck, I didn’t love what I was doing because it was just monotonous admin work all day that didn’t really test me nor allow me to critically think, I could hear myself telling people what they wanted to hear, following “rules” or “suggestions”, because that’s the “right” thing, and really .. just struggling .. struggling to really WANT to do anything.
One night I was lying in bed thinking that I wanted to dream, I wanted to imagine beautiful ideas, I wanted the playful daydreams to dance across my mind, I wanted to have neat visions and hope …. And yet, I didn’t. Not a single one. I couldn’t even “dream” if I wanted to. Eeeeww!!! How awful does that sound!!??
So I just started showing up, because I knew action is the only thing that will really elicit change. And therein lies my mantra – just show up, no matter how you feel, just show up! And in 2017, I showed up and I learned about myself, and the people around me, and the people who loved me, and the people who claimed to love me and the people I didn’t even know … and I kept showing up when my husband asked me if I wanted to start a company sharing with the south the miracle that changed family’s life … the cannabis plant.
I just said yes … and I kept saying yes. And I’m still saying yes!
I said yes all the way through the funny looks, the loss of friends, the surrounding stigma and the worry, the long nights, and the hard decisions, I fulfilled the commitment and kept showing up. Because as I’ve said a few times already, the beauty behind the venture is something I am positive is feeding my soul!!!
If you think there is a stigma surrounding the cannabis industry in general, consider the stigma associated with it in recovery circles. Oh. The goal of Mountain Pure is not to be a silent, mini hobby that makes us some extra money, we intend on it supporting our families and the families of others, as we grow and are able to provide jobs and dreams … and you can’t do that quietly.
Our mission is to change the quality of life by educating the world on the beautiful benefits of hemp derived CBD … and you can’t do that quietly either. So from the jump I loudly spoke the truth of what CBD has done for my family and countless others … and in showing up … I realized that I had “friends’ that would not be willing to show up for me. And I’ve continued on my journey without them. And the fear of losing people, isn’t so scary after all. It’s given me a new freedom I have never in life felt.
I said yes throughout all of 2018. I worked my butt off. I dug deep into myself and I began to speak my truth, but more importantly I acted on MY truth. It quit mattering to me what everyone else said, and it only mattered to me that I was authentic, because authenticity is truth to myself. For the first time in my life I applied 100% of myself and my abilities and I did things because I felt in my soul they were right! The year was so hard. I ended the year flat exhausted. And yet - it was gorgeous.
I learned how to dream again in 2018.
I became a business woman 2018. I am currently co-running one of the most rapidly growing companies in our city and I have no doubt the love and success that our future holds.
I learned that I am called to share with the masses. I am good at carrying a message and I am excellent at gathering the knowledge necessary to do so.
I learned that I am able to juggle and manage and organize not only as a mom and the guide to my family, but to my business and to our customers and everything that falls underneath that. There are so many moving parts every day and it’s no doubt to me it’s the universe that has allowed me to create the flow.
I found my purpose. My ONE THING. I have been able to focus my love and light on teachign people that they can control their own health, that they do not have to rely on big pharma, that they can heal their families and that nature has provided what our bodies need. purpose and I have found a great deal of success in doing that. I never thought so, but I am eager and thrilled to be able to homeschool my little. It’s already opened up doors for both of us that I never imaged!
I also learned that this life is so MUCH. There is alot of work and joy and beauty and people, but there is also never a day that looks like the one before, there is always a list that will never be completed and there is always - people. I have to meditate, I have to take care of myself, I have to be the one in charge of my own self care. I have to take care of me. That is not a privilege that I get sometimes, it’s a responsiblity I have to miyself and to those who count on me and who love me.
I am heading into 2019 knowing that this is Chapter 1 of a pretty rockin story. This is just the beginning of multiple companies, multiple dreams, raising my child in a way I never imagined was possible, breaking stigmas and empowering the world around me. Empowering the world around me. Talk about a cool purpose.